Fading Existence

As the flower of the field he shall pass away. It’s petals wilt and the beauty of it’s appearance is destroyed. So too is the man in the midst of his pursuits. At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration at it’s beautiful face it fades away to nothing



Christ declared that He came that we may have life and life more abundantly. Scripture states that we should not live in defeat and that we are to bring every thought into captivity.

Besides the inherent importance placed on these ideas because of their author, these are again instances in which we see affirmation of our Lord’s design.

Why, if we are to live abundantly must we bring our thoughts into captivity? Every person experiences what is called ‘self-talk’. In most individuals the majority of this chatter when undirected is negative and self-defeating. Although there is a great amount of variance in opinions as to the speed at which this ‘self-talk’ takes place most of these numbers fall between 600 and 7,000 words per minute (a huge difference I know) yet even at it’s lowest is easily five times the speed of our conversational speech which in the U.S.A. is clocked at an average 120 words per minute. This means that the majority of what any one person ‘hears’ are those negative thoughts which we allow ourselves.

If we have any choice in the matter of what we think, and I would tend to believe we do, then we are the most influential person in our own lives. Our mindset matters. Scripture declares that He came that we may have life, and have life more abundantly. So I’m speaking out my identity in Him, away with eloquence, I’m plunging in,

So here goes…

I am a child of the King
An heir to His Kingdom
Bought at the highest ransom in history
through this was redeemed,
made righteous
and pure.
I am free from condemnation
and a stranger in this land
the salt of the earth
the light of the world
and His long awaited bride.
I am blessed with all He is,
now perfect in His sight
I am priceless
and for no other reason than because… He loves me.. my identity, my worth, was found that moment he chose me, that he chose death… How can we ever say we’re anything less than exactly who He made us to be, that we are anything less than exactly enough.

We don’t have to prove anything, to shape up, buckle down, do better, be more, He doesn’t want your success, your striving, your vain pursuits, He wants you!
I will not settle for living in myself. I will not settle for life, when I am meant to live life more abundantly.

I refuse to live in mediocrity!

I refuse!


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So I was very tired but couldn’t sleep so decided to get on here and write… then I noticed my last post 🙂 sad. I suppose I need to make time for real posts.

So update… I’m leaving again for Seattle this Wed. I will be in seattle for three days and then will be heading straight to Chicago until the 25th so I’ll be gone 11 days straight… little hard to pack for since everything’s business-wear which is usually a little heavier to pack.

I am very very excited about the Chicago part of the trip. I’m going to a usability training conference. I love to learn and have been gaining a great deal of experience recently. I can now sit down and create the design for and all of the html & css for a site in the span of a few hours with notepad++. I could do it before but the process was laborious and the results shaky although that they may still be. But all of the application interface design I was doing was very new to me. So I’ve held off on the upcoming few projects in that area until after this conference. Hopefully it I will be able to learn a great deal.

Management-wise I still feel new to logistics but am also losing the main person I was working with who actually became a fun friend. I’m sad to see her go, but I’m very excited about her opportunities. So it’s just been hard trying to determine how much of my -everyone has to like me mentality- should be reigned in. I enjoy working with people I get along with. I think work can be ok when you can have fun and conversation. But on the other hand I’ve been told I can’t be the softy… I need to be… not

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tired and cannot sleep…

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Just got back from my Seattle business trip. Long, long trip there but it was exciting to plan layout our up and coming projects It was very cool to treated as sort of a big shot coming in so that was fun and I got to visit my family out there so that was absolutely fantastic. The dry air was difficult for me just because I’m unaccustomed to it, but the weather was actually nice while we were there.

A fun note – I think I actually may be a little more allergic to squid than I thought… at least I’m thinking that’s what must have happened since it’s the only thing I’m aware I’m allergic to. We went to a sushi place for lunch one day and when we got back into our meetings I started to have a reaction and my throat started to close, yikes!! I politely excused myself from the meeting and tracked down some benedryl then was just a little short on breath for a bit then fine but it was a little shocking.

I’m going to be doing a bit more shopping in the near future, looking forward to that. I’m exhausted for the evening so I will leave you with this picture (taken from my phone really late at night and far away but it’s still pretty 🙂seattle.jpg

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Fun Pics


Couldn’t help myself, did a few more tonight.rockstarweb.jpgmjgangstaweb.jpgmj6web.jpgmj5web.jpg

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Today I’m packing for a business trip to Seattle, and I did a fun little mini shoot with my sister. Which means… of course I have to let you preview a few. She’s so beautiful and so much fun!

Ok so yes of course we had to capture this it’s what she wore to get to our location…. it’s so very classic Marybeth…



She’s such an absolutely Gorgeous girl. This next one is my favorite.


mj2web.jpgAnyway that’s my sister!

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Just another day.

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Picture Day


So today it was absolutely GORGEOUS outside and I went out to take pictures of my brother’s gorgeous family. These are just the first three as a sample of what we did:familysmall.jpg(above) we obviously had to do one focusing on the newest member of the family.

(below) This one isn’t really out of focus even downsized and I can’t really figure out why it is showing that way here. But it is a beautiful happy family regardless.streamsmall1.jpganadys-hairsmall.jpgHad to show off Amanda’s work a little, she just did Anady’s gorgeous hair!

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So I have always been a project oriented person. I can have several projects at once but I’m driven to do them well, to spend a lot of time on them, to constantly tweek and brainstorm… and with my current job that’s hard. Luckily my position is very project driven, however, I have a set schedule, I come in work at it for x number of hours, then leave. While I am more than happy to leave when quitting time rolls around I get wrapped up in the project and don’t always want to let go of the brainstorming and planning etc… I feel like when it’s a more monotonous or same routine job it is easier to walk away, but since my job is about developing about an idea and implementing a design it’s a bit more difficult. Does anyone else have trouble with that? Suggestions?

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Valentines Day


I want your opinions. Holidays such as Christmas have very obviously been pushed by corporate America to increase sales etc., but I still feel like it is something that holds more meaning to those who choose to remember what it’s about….

Valentines day, however, seems like much more of a marketing thing and when you take that away… really who cares about feb.

14th…right? wrong? thoughts?

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Story of my life… really


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I love the snow


The last few days I have been working from home (working again today… yes I know it’s the weekend). But I couldn’t help taking a few pictures of the sparkling snow and of course I had to share… 4.jpg1.JPG2.JPG3.JPG

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Revelation Gift


ScriptureI have heard the arguments that God speaks to each individual in a personal way… I do agree with the statement, but I disagree with where I have seen so many take it.

Just because God may speak to one person more through fasting and another more through worship does not discount the fact that Scripture is relevant to everyone. I find it so disheartening to hear Christians state that they don’t read scripture because it doesn’t speak to them. I want to plead with them to realize what they are missing.

I will admit that there are times that I have to remind myself what a gift I have and that I should take full advantage of it, not just doing my daily reading, but by really being hungry for His Word, but I would like to throw this analogy out there:

You are completely head over heels, crazy about the love of your life whom you adore. Your lover pours out an expression of their love and devotion in a passionate attempt to make their feelings known to you, but instead of listening to or reading this expressive account, you decide that since your love language is acts of service and as such you don’t really need to hear it, you just want to see it.

How much would you be missing!! Our King is infatuated with His creation and has made an awesome attempt to make his feelings known in an understandable way, but so often we cast aside this treasure. If we really thought of Him as a lover we would read His letter over and over again in joyous thanksgiving for such a gift.

I have heard such things as ‘we can’t, as humans, understand God and as such, it would be arrogant and wrong to try; and that God will always be a mystery to us. Yet, while we cannot fully understand God – as Scripture says, we see through a glass dimly – we should take full advantage of the extent to which He has revealed Himself to us through His Word. How great is His love that He would make such an effort to reveal it to us.

Ok I suppose I am through with my little passionate display :-).

Oh and on a completely unrelated topic, this was fun.

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First I just have to share this word – I hadn’t heard of it and I think it’s fun.

mach?i?na?tion:?[mak-uhney-shuhn] –noun

1. an act or instance of machinating.
2. Usually, machinations. crafty schemes; plots; intrigues.

Second thing I wanted to share –

“WASHINGTON (AP) – The Democratic-controlled Senate has muscled through a plan to allow the government to go a whopping $1.9 trillion deeper in debt.”

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debating point –> breaking point


As those close to me know, I have always enjoyed good debate. Yet, I have come more and more to let myself walk away from discussion when debates become arguments.

I think the difference is important to note –

de?bate noun, verb, -bat?ed, -bat?ing.

1. a discussion, as of a public question in an assembly, involving opposing viewpoints: a debate in the Senate on farm price supports.

ar?gu?ment ?/??rgy?m?nt/ S –noun

1. an oral disagreement; verbal opposition; contention; altercation: a violent argument.

I believe that the difference between the two is mainly the contention aspect of an argument.

I think that this is a very pressing issue within the church today. While I know that I hold some viewpoints that are very different from those around me, I am open to listen others and share reasonable points. While this may not always lead to a change of view, it allows both sides to grow. I understand that there are some viewpoints that cannot be overlooked and even Paul and Barnabas had their differences to the point of separating themselves from one another.

Yet, somewhere along the line do you think that we have begun to view discrepancies in belief as something irreconcilable? Within the church I feel that unless it is a matter of salvation it should never become a point of dissension among believers? Do I make too little of varying points?



I know I know I always say I’m busy. Recently I’ve been working 8am to 6pm(ish) Monday-Saturday. Throw in a few projects here and there and you get a very full schedule.

Recap of outside of work –

I just got home from seeing my niece and nephew and beautiful sister.

Sunday I went to the Cumberland Science Museum which, though I know is for kids, was really fun. Climbed all the way to the top of the tower, which I don’t remember doing before, and then went to see a show at the planetarium.  I also went to the Spaghetti factory, which I had never been to, the food was absolutely amazing. I highly recommend, if you have not already done so, that you go.

And now, I am headed to BED. I’m exhausted.

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Happy Birthday!!2.jpg

Just want to say that I have a wonderful brother and think that anyone who reads this should go and post on his very very outdated page.Now that I have hopefully embarrassed him enough for today, I am actually going to go to sleep very early. For the time being I work six days a week and am quite exhausted.

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had to share


By this posting I in no way endorse the site from which it originates, nor do I encourage the full reading of it’s contents. But this particular commentary on our social norms amused me so I wanted to share.

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Selfless heart


First humorous note -after that little post about the weekend guess who has to work this weekend… yep… anyway to the slightly less jocular part of the post.  I will try to make this one shorter.

I have recently felt that all to often I am using the word I  this found even in my so thought ‘humility’ of myself. So often I am self-conscious of my flaws that I focus more on myself and thus even in a negative way become selfish.

C.S. Lewis said that: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” It is interesting that it would be difficult to become a more selfless person by striving for humility, but we should instead focus on loving Him more. God says that to love Him is to obey His commands; we also know that His two greatest commands are to love Him above all else, and to love one another. Just as you can’t stop thinking about a purple elephant by telling yourself not to think of purple elephants, neither can we become truely selfless by focusing on this personal improvement. We must focus on growing outward, becoming so engulfed in our thoughts of our Lord, and of others, that we forget self.

C.S. Lewis also said that you would never walk away from a truly humble man thinking of how great his humility was, but rather how entirely interested he was in you.

I want to become this person. I want to be so sidetracked by my love for my Savior and for those around me, that my selfishness fades away.

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I never used to understand why people would make such a big deal about weekends. I knew they were off.. but still there is always SO much that needs to be done.

I had, for such a long time, worked nights and weekends that I didn’t realize what it meant to look forward to the weekend. My break were random and some weeknights were perfectly fine nights to get together.

Now that I work 8-5 M-F, I am beginning to understand. The weekend is so much more inviting when it is whole and not broken by serving shifts. I’m excited!

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