Fading Existence

As the flower of the field he shall pass away. It’s petals wilt and the beauty of it’s appearance is destroyed. So too is the man in the midst of his pursuits. At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration at it’s beautiful face it fades away to nothing



Tonight is the last night of my fast and i think what has been most pressed upon me during this time is my lacking prayer life. I used to feel that prayer was one of my greatest strengths. I was an intercessory warrior in prayer. Now, however, there is something about the idea of coming to the Lord again and again for the same thing feels like I’m not trusting Him- that I don’t think He’ll remember or care somehow. I know it’s a silly thought, but so is the idea that I need to nag at Him like a whiny child. I still pray but I don’t feel as though I am being earnest even when I really am. I know that when Moses pleaded with Him God changed His plans. I know that Christ gave us the example of the man banging on his neighbors door in the middle of the night. After, laying requests before the Lord I pray that His will be done rather than any solution or request that give. I am so reliant on Him and His plans that is there use in praying for the things that I feel I want or need? He knows better than I what is best for me. So instead of bringing my many requests I most often pray for His will and pray for the discernment to know what that is. My methods have changed good, bad, wrong, or right, I’m not sure…

“The world has yet to see what God can do through a life that is totally surrendered to Him.” — I don’t know who it’s from. 

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